Bint: Ooh look, pretty red shoes! I am a woman and am therefore entranced by shoes, I will stare longingly at them through the shop window.

Shop woman: You wish to purchase these shoes? Ha! I sneer derisively at you.

Bint: Oh no! Shop woman is sneering derisively at me for some unfathomable reason – I will never be able to purchase these shoes without her blessing.

*Removes hat*

Bint: Oops, I forgot – dying my hair gives me the confidence to buy shoes from people who sneer at me. Result! Now I can purchase the pretty red shoes, my shallow and pointless life is complete.

Shop woman: Curses, foiled again! Damn you Clairol!

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